*sigh* today made me very depressed. i thought about (NAME NOT REVEALED FOR SECURITY REASONS) and it just made me realize that there is no way i can be with him. EVER. but i figure just as long as he's happy with whoever he's with, that'll make me happy too. fuck, i'm stupid, i don't even know him THAT well. shit. why the hell am i so crazy? what the fuck is wrong with me? goddamnit, i quit it all. i fucking quit the world.

fuck, if it were only that easy. i need to find a way to go numb again. force it out of my head. emotional numbness is the key but i've lost it somewhere in my pocket. goddamnit.

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