well, well, well. Our dear Jen is quite the loser, eh? She's been turned down twice now and can't seem to get creeps to stop stalking her. Even better, she's starting to go numb again. Ahh, the numb feeling. Time to seal up the wound and go numb. Of course after i fill a bucket with emo tears. That weezer song would fit in the picture right now. "the world has turned and left me here".

BLAH. FUCK IT. I QUIT. I QUIT IT ALL. EVERYTHING. Who really gives a shit anyways? NOBODY. There's NOBODY out there that would give me a chance who's not a horny creep. And to make things worse, all my friends are hooking up with other folks, so i'm the only single one sitting there besides a few others who aren't interested or want to use me for ego-inflating purpouses. Yeah, yeah. So having a girl makes you more of a man, eh? WELL FUCK THAT. FUCK EVERYTHING. I'm giving up. So much for hoping to meet someone special.

I guess i was put on this earth to please others but not myself. It seems to be headed in that direction. I need to stop trying to make myself happy cause i'm only happy when others are happy. If i forget about the fact that i need someone or need anything and focus on everyone else's needs, it'll be bliss, just like before i had these fucking hormones. Chris is happy whith what he's got right now. That's all that counts. That he's happy. That's all that counts in every situation. That whoever he/she may be, i have to make them happy.

WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ME? NOBODY. SO I GOTTA MAKE SURE PEOPLE ARE HAPPY CAUSE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEM. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

i'm going to crawl into a hole and never come out. My body might come out, but i'll still be there. Rotting away.

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