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2003-02-11 - 6:41 p.m. well well well. isn't little jen the psycho lately. i couldn't sleep 2 nights ago. it was too cold, and then i got itchy as fuck. then to complicate the situation, i jumped out of bed and started searching for my akido stick. for some reason, i had convinced myself that i had lost it and that i needed to find it at that exact moment. so i wandered around the house, woke my mom up and scared the fuck out of her. She offered me anxiety pills, but of course i reffused. i hid under the blankets and tossed and turned until maybe 6 in the morning. then i woke up at around 8, stared at the cealing, and then got out of bed at around 9. i got 2 fucking hours of sleep because my head is fucked up or something. and those spiders are back. maybe i'm upset and worried about grandma, and john and the war that's gonna happen, and everything...maybe i just snapped because of that. there is no other logical explanation other than i'm insane.
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